By: MelleYeah 2 words: food….poisoning. Your dead asleep…..suddenly! you wake up….and notice……somethin’s comin out….one way or the other and/or both….You my friend; have food poisoning! All it takes is 1 bad tuna sandwich and your outta work for a day! I’m a vegetarian, so I get what I call ”meat poisoning” It pretty much has the same effect as actual food poisoning, but it is caused by eating... 

By: Dr. She I was working a crappy retail hell job at one of our distinguished bookstore chains and had decided the night before I couldn’t take one more mind numbing shift dealing with knuckle dragging troglodytes asking me to find a book with ”the” in the title. So first thing the next morning I called in, before I had taken a sip of juice so my voice had that sicky, scratchy sound to it. ”Yeah..feeling... 

By: Wugah I lie very, very poorly. No, seriously – I suck at it. Anyhow, with that said, I had been doing the 90 hour week thing for months on end at a startup company and the day after the CEO jumped on my ass about coming in at 10:00am one morning, I called in sick for the first time in my employ at this company (5 years)… And, since as you may recall I can’t lie for crap, I didn’t and... 

By: Fruity Pebbles I went into work on a Saturday after some partaying with too much booze still in my digestive system, and strenuously vomited all my cereal into a wastebasket in front of everybody about 40 minutes after I started work. If you’re not known as a drinky person, this sort of ‘intestinal flu’ is a Golden Ticket that gets you back home by 9 a.m. After a few hours sleep and some chiropractic healing,...